The Other Side

There have been a lot of posts recently about being "the one dicked over"- no pun intended and sorry to put it so crudely. Those are completely warranted posts and I can say that I have felt that way more times that once. However, I can also say I have been the dick who hasn't always had the most noble of intentions....also more than once.

Those who know me know that I am a "nice guy." Since that is vague, I'll define it as: I really don't have bad intentions and I try to do the right thing in all situations. But me being a nice guy hadn't really landed much early success in the dating world. So, to tell this story I will have to start in the beginning...

My first kiss was a girl named Jacque Christy in 6th grade.... Pssh not that far back....

I was a make-out virgin my senior year of high school until prom night. I was seeing a girl named Kaylon Parker socially and I grew some nads and asked her to the big dance. I was/am extremely shy with girls I don't know very well and tend to open up a bit more after lots of hang-out time. Kaylon and I hadn't reached that point yet, but I was excited she said 'yes.' One night we went to go see a movie and I was in the process of dropping her off at her house- walking her to the door - - and if youre a shy 17 year-old you dread this because this means she expects you to kiss her, but what if you mess up or she really didnt want you to, or you do and its weird because you pull back too soon...what if her parents are by the door etc etc... So our lips meet and she informs me that prom night is where we are going to "catch up" to her other friends in the physical department.

Fast forward to prom - - I did get to make out with her...after 6 other guys did. But I was too nice- scratch that- too young/shocked/and stupid to leave. After that I went to college thinking that girls would hurt me- so I avoided them. I didn't go to one single party freshman year. I isolated myself in my room with a few of my hallmates and devoted my time to videogames and other things I have since forgotten.

Sophomore year I became an RA and made some quality friends who pulled me out of my isolation and made me do things with them. I met a few of their friends who were girls and one thought I was cute. Naturally, I pursued her and was patient- because she was in a complicated relationship with her ex-boyfriend. Being a nice guy who easily forgets being dicked over I had a long talk with this girl and said I understand how hard this must be to like me and him and have such peculiar feelings- which led her to "like me more." We left for Christmas break with her telling me that she chose me over her ex and when we get back from break we would date.

Low and behold she got back with her ex over break and ignored me for 1 month.

I came back to school in January in decent spirits, but still a bit broken up about it- ashamed I was 19 and hadn't been close to having a real "steady" girlfriend. I reaaaaaally wanted one- probably because I wanted to feel like I was special to someone- like I was wanted. Met another one of my residents friends named Candace Smith. I instantly thought she was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen- and then immediately became bummed out because I knew she wouldn't go for me. Chance would have it she would go for me and I got what I wanted- a girlfriend.

We spent the rest of that school year going on dates, walking around campus, watching movies, kissing and getting more physical. She actually told me she loved me about a month before I said it back. WOW- I thought. This is the girl I'm going to marry. That was my mindset. I thought there was nothing more pure than love and that I had found my special someone. Candace and I had sex when I was 20 years old and that solidified it for me- because I was under the impression that I would only have sex with one person- after marriage- Since this happened before marriage I became even more attached.

The relationship was so good for me, I was blinded by the light- Looking back she was such a huge bitch to me and I treated her like she was the only girl in the world. So as you've guessed our relationship ended with her telling me I was needy, girly, brought the bitch out of her, unattractive, and a few other things I have since forgotten. Oh yea, we dated for 1 year and a week. I was absolutely crushed. I mean extremely depressed. I kept my door closed, skipped class for a week- I lost weight and I only watched Scrubs- which is now one of my favorite shows.

So after that relationship, after putting so much in and having so much hope- and after being "tainted" because I had sex with a girl before marriage (so I thought at the time)- I decided I would go out and 'hook-up.....'

I know the above seems a little unrelated to dicking girls over (in the bad way)- also I hate reading such long posts so Im splitting this up to finish.