Edward's Compendium of Animals, Part 2

Okay, as I suspected, I was having problems posting images, so I'm going to have to split my Compendium into multiple posts. Sorry, foks.

Here begins part deux:

3.) The clouded leopard--while I considered posting the snowy leopard--the clouded leopard's more famous and beautiful cousin--I had to go with my gut. I am a sucker for stuff like "shadow" or "clouds," hence my preference for Smoke as the greatest of the Mortal Kombat ninjas (Noob Saibot, the black one, probably comes in second). There is something very noble abotu the big predatory cats. Other than lions, I'm pretty sure most are solitary, and this again carries on the theme of the romantic poet drinking himself to sleep every night in a cheap Parisian flat, sitting on a balcony with a pipe and dreaming of the woman he lost.

4.) The anteater--if you want a big motherfucking snout, the anteater reigns supreme. These silly monsters presumably have incredibly long tongues to go with their lengthy proboscises, and I know a few girls who claim they are their best friends (I didn't ask them why). I would give up any number of things (including my friends) to see one of these waddle along at a fast clip as some sort of minorly dangerous predator-beast runs after it, barking and howling in laughter at how ridiculous this particular monster looks.

5.) The aardwolf--one of the lesser known critters of God's wiley hands, this one has the distinction of being pretty fucking early in the dictionary (although not before its friend, the aardvark--are these two related? They seem like essentially different types of creatures, but they do both have that unusual name...ask your local scientist friend, or, if that fails, your priest). A sort of scavenging dog, much like a hyena, these are perhaps a bit dinkier and I suspect would run away with its tail between its legs if it came across the various kinds of laughing hyenas voiced controversially by African-Americans in various cartoon movies.

Okay, that's all for now, folks. Be prepared for more animal love in the future, though, and hopefully others post their various favorite beasts, both obscene and beautiful. For they are all beautiful in the eyes of God, or, alternatively, in the eyes of your local priest. One love, lol.

--Edward