Reading about the despair that is the existence of an office working so-called productive member of society, I just thought I'd pitch in about the feelings as one looks in, as an unemployed piece of shit with no real goals in life, on this sort of life while frantically hoping to some day finally make it there. To a place where you can bitch about the bleakness of being a paper pushing office worker while being extremely aware that this will provide you with neither happiness nor a sense of fulfillment.
It's a fucked up world we live in, when everyone bends over backwards to make it somewhere they don't want to go. When I think about how to define my life, and in many ways the lives of those around me, the best I can come up with is a high achieving underachiever. There's a rush to get somewhere, even though I definitely don't know where that is and there are classes and a ton of extra-curriculars along the way that are supposed to be useful to you somewhere down the line, they won't tell you when but somewhere , maybe you'll remember something you learned that might help you. You graduate from high school, why? because you want to go to college my boy, they say. So you go and get a degree, why? because no one will hire you if you don't have a degree. And don't take too long to graduate either, don't waste your time son... so you rushed through 18 years of schooling to become a 22 year old man child, who still depends on his parents for sustenance and who has no idea what he wants to do in life, and who can't even find a job doing something he doesn't want to do, so i guess my question is: What was the rush?
Well put. It's trying to realize everything that we were hoping wouldn't be true during the last four years (18 years really). They taught us how to make a living, not how to live. Time to push for something better.
ReplyDeleteGood post, JP. I remember this feeling well: desperately wanting some type of office job, even though I realized once I got it I would be equally dissatisfied. Yet it is somehow a more tangible, vivid fear when one is unemployed. Working at a white collar job you hate is like having a sore at the back of your mouth that won't leave you alone, but being unemployed with the pressure from parents and from yourself to get a job--that is like waking up every day feeling like you want to vomit, because that is basically what it is, haha.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, I would think that most people our age totally have no idea what they want to do, and at least I'm an underachiever--ugh, I wish I could change this facet of my personality (I guess I can, but it ain't easy). What kind of jobs are you looking for?