So its the end of the world obviously. Some guy from somewhere at some point said that this coming Saturday is it. I don't know how DiMB readers feel about this but I am comfortable where I stand on my own moral tape measure ( I don't know, is there some kind of thermometer or compass for this kind of thing, or just a tape measure?) Anyway, Jesus is supposed to come down and rapture every 'true' believer. Yeah, good luck with that.
From what I've read the rapture just makes you magically naked and flying in the sky to heaven. You know what else does that? LSD.
By the way, those unbelievers, I prey for thee. You face an eternity in hell. Which coincidentally is the same place all of the drugs and hookers are going. Good luck having fun down there. Wait, what?
feeling pretty psyched.
ReplyDeleteWhen I hear the phrase "true believer," I think of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom and this guy: http://lh3.ggpht.com/_5ysue5rM8I8/RgrsP4xtdxI/AAAAAAAABJ4/AKzJ7FhkUD0/Temple%20of%20Doom%20Amrish.jpg
ReplyDeletethank you for addressing this. http://media2.newsobserver.com/smedia/2010/12/19/23/shaffer-1220%202_GOT2230UT.1+shaffer01-122010-CLL.embedded.prod_affiliate.156.jpg
ReplyDeleteit needs to be addressed. some odd notable coinciding events with the end of the world:
- Civil War Day in Waterford AND Alexandria
- World Day for Cultural Diversity for Dialogue and Development
- Armed Forces Day
no wonder.
just as long as this song can play as we all enter the abyss: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1GAKOLOnfV4
A big deal was made out of the Rapture (not really) in my ASAP class.
ReplyDeletego on
ReplyDeleteHas this replaced the Mayan December 31, 2012 deadline or something? Nah, people were just talking about it. The guy (in the Marines) also said the CDC (Center of Disease Control) released a bulletin about a zombie apocalypse or something. This is like Ghostbusters.
ReplyDeleteI think it's just some amped up Christians and the Mayan date is independent of that.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I know it is, but I was a bit confused at first. Let us all pray to the Church of Matt DeBruycker.
ReplyDeleteI thought is was just amped up Christians too until the add on foxsports.com said the bible proves it. And I didn't even need to click on it to find out more. That books never wrong
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ReplyDeleteStupid Rapture made me almost fail to meet my sales goal at Macy's. Though it did make the day interesting since everyone was counting down to 6 o'clock. A bunch of the staff refused to die in Macy's, so they planned on running out at the first sign of the earthquake. I, on the other hand, found Macy's the perfect place to be today, as it would be the best to loot after everyone else was zapped up. I could then furnish my new, "borrowed" home rather easily!
ReplyDeleteAaand upon posting that I realized that I have a photo on blogspot. It also happens to be completely old and inaccurate. Awesome.
ReplyDeleteEh, you can only see a really small version of it anyways. No worries. I should get a photo on here somehow. But there are so few pictures of me anyways. What you see on Facebook is basically all that exists.
ReplyDeleteWell we will most certainly have to change that!
ReplyDeleteIf you have a camera feel free to do a photo shoot with me with some erotic lighting (i.e., lighting that hides me).
ReplyDeleteDear friend,
ReplyDeleteWe are writing this letter to inform you of the great urgency that now exists for each and every person to be reconciled with God before May 21, 2011.
As God's servants, Family Radio (http://www.familyradio.com) feels a great responsibility to warn every person concerning the teachings of the Holy Bible that May 21, 2011 (just days away) will be the day when God comes for His people, and also the appointed Day of Judgment for all of the unsaved people of the world. The Bible refers to this ‘day’ in the following verses:
Acts 17:29 Forasmuch then as we are the offspring of God, we ought not to think that the Godhead is like unto gold, or silver, or stone, graven by art and man's device.
30 And the times of this ignorance God winked at; but now commandeth all men everywhere to repent: 31 Because he hath appointed a day, in the which he will judge the world in righteousness by that man whom he hath ordained; whereof he hath given assurance unto all men, in that he hath raised him from the dead.
The Holy Bible tells us that May 21, 2011 will be this appointed Day of Judgment! Following it there will be 5 months of awful torment for this world; and then on October 21, 2011 God will destroy this earth and the entire creation.
Revelation 9:5 And to them it was given that they should not kill them, but that they should be tormented five months: and their torment was as the torment of a scorpion, when he striketh a man.
As God's servants and therefore His representatives of the Gospel, we wouldgreatly encourage you on Christ's behalf that ye be reconciled to God before this great and terrible day come on May 21, 2011.
Zephaniah 2:1 Gather yourselves together, yea, gather together, O nation not desired;
2 Before the decree bring forth, before the day pass as the chaff, before the fierce anger of the LORD come upon you, before the day of the LORD'S anger come upon you.
3 Seek ye the LORD, all ye meek of the earth, which have wrought his judgment; seek righteousness, seek meekness: it may be ye shall be hid in the day of the LORD'S anger.
What must we do to escape the wrath of God?
The Bible explains to us that salvation is completely in God’s hands and under His absolute control. The Holy God of the Bible will have mercy upon whom He will have mercy. There is no way we can force God to save us and bring us into His holy heaven; but yet, God does permit us to approach Him for His grace to cover our sins. God instructs us to come humbly to His throne and cry out for mercy much like the inhabitants of the city of Nineveh did long ago:
Jonah 3:4 And Jonah began to enter into the city a day's journey, and he cried, and said, Yet forty days, and Nineveh shall be overthrown. 5 So the people of Nineveh believed God, and proclaimed a fast, and put on sackcloth, from the greatest of them even to the least of them.
8 … let man and beast be covered with sackcloth, and cry mightily unto God: yea, let them turn every one from his evil way, and from the violence that is in their hands. 9 Who can tell if God will turn and repent, and turn away from his fierce anger, that we perish not?
Our desire for you is that you will trust this warning message from the Holy Bible and realize that you have only a few more days before the Judgment of God comes. Again, the appointed Day of Judgment begins on May 21, 2011! Please do tell your family and friends about this. They also need to hear these things that God is about to do.
Thank you for taking the time to read this letter.
Resources:
· Judgment Day Tract
· No Man Knows? Tract
Family Radio
290 Hegenberger Rd
Oakland, CA 94621 USA
Family Radio is a nonprofit, noncommercial, listener supported, Bible Radio Ministry that broadcasts in 60 languages (including Arabic) through out the world.
Uhhhh....I'm pretty sure nowhere in the Bible it says anything about May 21, 2011. And I'm pretty sure they didn't give very good proof there. "Family Radio."
ReplyDeletehttp://9gag.com/gag/125617/
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