The Town Drunk

Is there anything sadder than drinking alone? Blogging about it would probably trump it.

Anywho, why do people fear being alone? And then why do people fear drinking alone? Where do these stereotypes of desperation and pathetic conditions come from? Alcoholics, maybe? Could it be our society's addiction to alcohol as the bonafide social drug of all time? Perhaps.

So you drink yourself stupid and silly until you end up doing childish, terrible, and even inhumane (literal meaning here, "not human") things with your gang of roustabouts, but the moment you leave them and pop open a bruskie with just your lonesome, now you're a low life. Beforehand, when you were puking on someone's front steps while your friends chanted, you were a king, but it's only now that your alone is when you're a loser. All right, maybe you were a loser with your friends too, but somehow not as pathetic, somehow more justified. Is that why it's so easy to get away with shitty things in groups (think war, or worse)?

Loners get shit on. Why? Because they have the gall to exist without someone next to them for support/blame. How pretentious. Either that or, How sad. I guess it depends on how they find out you're a loner. If it's because you convey to people that you spent some insurmountable time alone and then told everyone how great it was, you'll be a Thoreau-type loner. One who hides then comes out screaming about how hidden they were.

Or they came upon you alone. You told no one, you were minding your own business, and then they barge in and demand via text, email, phone, or face, that you participate with the Group. This is the perceived-to-be-tortured-type loner. You may very well be fine, if not very pleased to be alone, but that's not possible in laws of physics of (western) society. If you're meditating, then it's bound to be a part of some homework regiment for a pilates class or perhaps it's servitude in seclusion.

That's another important note, solitary confinement. The hole. The ultimate punishment in all (Hollywood) jails (don't know about the real ones) is solitary confinement. This goes a bit deeper, because it's not just about being alone, it's being forced to be alone. It's being cut off rather than wandered off. It's not exactly what you call on your terms. They're trying to eclipse any knowledge you have of existence, without actually cutting you off from your existence. That's pretty sick. However, in such a time as now, or, the digital age, (everyone go, "ooooooooo"), forced seclusion vs. incidental seclusion is a good contrast to use in finding out what people really fear about being alone (assuming they do fear it of course).

I can bet that around you right now are at least two other things that could occupy you, whether music, texting, gchatting, facebook/Internet, TV, movie, or physical people talking to you, there is probably something readily available for you to switch to the second you blink away from this screen. And if not, you could access them within seconds. We live immersed in mediums. We are swimming in them, often oblivious to how many there actually are. So being alone, to us, to our culture, our society, our what-have-you, is rather like getting out of the pool with no towel and standing there, shivering.

It's an endangered species, time alone. Rare, strange, and alluring. Is it natural selection that has picked it off, or just because it's such a good target (intentional selection)? What even counts as being alone? The internet tends to bleed the once certain boundaries of this all over the place.

If you're playing solitaire on your computer, you're alone. If you're browsing through websites, you're alone. If you're reading emails or browsing through forum or blog posts, you're alone, but you're listening to the thoughts of other people. If you're talking on the forums, sending out emails, commenting on some video, or even posting on a blog(!), then you're alone and what, calling out in the dark? If you're "chatting" with someone online, then you're still technically alone, but you're finally in touch with someone; there is a seemingly conscious connection between you and another person(s), which is distinguishable from the disjointed repeated replies in email or facebook messaging. Beyond that is an actual phone call, dare I say videophone call, and even holographic calling (yeah?). But still, somehow, you're technically alone through all of that. Only when you are in the presence of someone else without a physical/digital/Pink Floyd wall in between you two, are you not alone. Seems like with all the texting and chatting and shit, we're still alone just as often as we were before the technology came along. In fact, we may be alone even more often because we inevitably end up staying at our computers longer while talking to people online instead of in person. And yet, there's an unnerving feeling that we're all more "in touch" with people than ever before.

The truth is, everyone is alone (naturally). And the other truth is, this is not a bad thing. It's not even a good thing. It's just a thing. We've created the perceptions surrounding it to conclude whether it's good or bad, and I think the perceptions have lost touch with what it means to be alone and to be with others.

I would say it is in our nature to be drawn to other people, to not want to be alone, and to feel better when it's confirmed that other people feel this too. In this sense there may be a natural fear of being alone. But just like any fear, there is something deeper within the actual feared entity than the fear itself. At a primal level, at an existential level, sitting alone (even at a computer) is peace.