Sleepless sleeper

So when a girl who can fall asleep at any time any day can't sleep it becomes kind of a problem. You know when you are so overwhelmed nothing makes sense? It's like you regret everything you've done in a long time just because it led you to where you are, awake at 5:14 am while your puppy that never sleeps at night, sleeps. It hurts to think about everything that's gone wrong and to forget everything that's going right. It's hard to say things happen for a reason when you regret so much. I still believe that because I'm a religious person but I won't get into that since it's not that kind of blog. Most of the time I can block everything out and just pretend it has all gone away, so tonight is the opposite of any night I've had in a long time. I can't sleep and everything is coming back to me, family Problems friend Problems, everything. When you think about all your problems and realize the worst ones are your fault, it SUCKS. Again you try the it all happened for a reason trick, but it still stings. Feeling helpless, hopeless, and like you deserve it sucks also. But then again there's one other thing I strongly believe in, karma. When is it time though, to let go of whatever is bothering you no matter how bad it hurts so you can finally be happy? The thing is when bad things happen it hurts but it's funny how when you let go of them it hurts too. It's like the world's little practical joke on you. Or maybe it is it's way of saying hah screw you, you Lose either way. I'm not being optimistic or making much sense, but hey it's 5 am I haven't been awake at 5 am in months so you're welcome for writing about it... Just kidding this must be the most pointless thing. Goodnight to you lucky bastards that have your eyes shut right now.