Edward's Compendium of Animals, Part 1

Ever since I was a little kid, I was fascinated by animals. Growing up, I can't tell you how many books I had about animals, both current and extinct (dinosaurs was a particularly big phase of mine, along with trucks and weapons & warfare, and when Jurassic Park came out, it was like God had answered my prayers--I loved that movie when I first saw it in theaters in '93), I loved looking at them and always wanted to of course touch them, although this proved to be fairly hard to do in the wild. I remember writing in my journal when I went on a famous trip out west in elementary school about my particular excitement from touching ground squirrels as I handfed them food by the Grand Canyon. Stuff like this was infinitely more important than the Grand Canyon itself, and I would sketch little pictures of these devious bastards in my journal. My parents would always be so pissed at me because I'd spend my time "with my nose stuck in books" instead of looking at all the pretty sites around me. But that's how I was as a kid: a bookworm. I am distrustful of those who grew up without reading. What the hell else would you spending your childhood doing? These were in the early days before I was playing videogames much, and a lot of what I know in life came from reading voraciously about anything as a kid. I loved, loved, loved books. Especially cool picture books about military uniforms or about carnivorous dinosaurs (clearly the coolest ones).

This post (which I will update over time) is a dedication to a lot of my favorite animals. I don't have much experience with posting pictures, but I will try to do so in hopes of letting others see the awesomeness of these devilish and sexually ravenous beasts. Just a warning: I tend to like rather obscure beasts, since there are just so many people who like really cliche animals, like lions or horses, and I just don't understand why they are so interested in these rather pedestrians monsters. Some of mine are a little generic though. Again--I will update this over time, so stay tuned:

1.) The star-nosed mole--Look at this little bugger. What a great snout. I also love its gigantic clawed hands. It's crazy because it looks like it has absolutely no face--just pure, raw snout (an honorable mention on my list who also has a legendary snout [which he uses for manic digging into dirt and almost constant sneezing] would be my dog, variously known as "Foul Snout," "The Oaf," or Stink Beast"; Chester is more of a species unto himself than just a normal dog).

2.) The barn owl--a very interesting and beautiful bird of prey. One theme you will notice running along this animal list is my love of especially predatory animals. They are sexy, they remind me of self-destructive, romantic poets, sitting on benches in Paris at night, drunk, watching young lovers sharing vows, forever alone and solitary, the poetry of life and of death in their soul. Birds of prey are especially beautiful and erotic and dangerous--they encompass all of the aspects of life. While owls--and especially the barn owl--are not the sexiest of this family, it should still be pointed out that they are indeed birds of prey. If I was asked to pick one particular class of animal that I like most, I think it would be the birds of prey. Either that or predatory cats (or dinosaurs).

What I like about the barn owl is that milky white face, which reminds me of a Japanese ghost or something.

--Edward